War...The Silent Killer

Yesterday I found out that a friend and past co-worker committed suicide because he no longer could handle the nightly nightmares of his experience fighting in someone else's war. This was a gentle man, as well as a gentleman and I could never imagine him killing. Evidently the forced killing and sights he was forced to endure was the final killer in the war he continued to endure in his soul and mind for the past thirty years. It was a sad end to a man who offered so much to this society, his family, friends and world. War had claimed another victim.

It was comfort tinged with sadness to know he spoke of my husband many times before his demise, speaking of what a good man, friend and talented man he was. It broke my heart knowing this because he was a man, his pride probably didn't allow him to express these nightmares and terrors he had to another man. Men live with this thing called pride and ego and to let go of one ounce of it in front of another man can be suicide to your manly self esteem. Men are raised to be tough and not show their emotions because it is a sign of weakness. We have raised them to believe that they are less if they show they feel, care and are down right scared of a situation.

How he died saddened me even more and made me try to imagine the nightmares this man must have had. Setting yourself on fire and burning up in the backyard is unimaginable to me and probably to most. God only knows what this man's dreams were filled with. Vietnam was a worthless war of wasted lives filled with much more terror than this war we are forced to endure now. The Vietnamese were ruthless fighters and they had the jungle as their protection. Every man I ever knew who fought in that war could never talk about what they experienced and almost all were screwed up in some way or the other. Victims of war as I see it. Our country's attempt to force another people into submission to our ways, like most of our wars are about.

I hate war and I hate the fact the United States feels it has to force everyone to be democratic or believe in Jesus. We are truly the bully on the block for the other nations of the world. We don't care how many young men's lives we screw up or take to try to accomplish this fact. We don't care that almost everyone in the world hates us and sees us for what we are. Sure, we might come on the promise of rescuing you from terrorists but the price you pay will be high. You better turn your shawls in for a crown of thorns Jesus supposedly wore or there will retribution. Your cities, people and way of life will be forever changed once we step foot on your land and it's not always for the better.

I guess some people are cut out for the brutality and senselessness of war but I'm sure most are not. Personally, I think we should put the leaders of the countries who disagree with each other into a pit and let them fight it out. Gone are the days when the leader rode the lead horse and led his men into war. Now our leaders hide behind an oak desk and play with men and women's lives as if they were playing Monopoly. I can't even imagine what our new set of live casualties will be like when they return to this impoverished country they call home. There will be no jobs, health care or anyone who probably even gives a shit about their minds condition.

I'm so sad about this man, Bill. Bill, I hope your passed loved ones and G.I.'s you saw perish in the war, were there to help guide you towards a better life on the other side. I pray you have now found the peace that this country so ruthlessly ripped from you. You will be missed and you did touch the lives of others around you as I'm sure you will have the chance to do again. I never once realized the torment you were going through; you hid it well. Not like so many people who are ravaged by life's simplest tragedies that are common place to everyone's lives. You never whined, moaned or made others feel bad because of what you were personally going through. You handled it as they say "like a man". You may have felt weak but you were stronger than most people I know.

I guess the wars will continue and this country I love so dearly will continue to try to make everyone on the Earth like us. If we aren't fighting for money it's for religion, so I assume the brutality will live on. We've been fighting over who has the correct God for centuries and with all the bloodshed throughout those years we've learned nothing. I'm going to laugh if in the end we find out that the maker of this beautiful planet earth is nobody we thought it would be....Jesus isn't the one opening up the door when we knock. Imagine how many people are going to be shocked.

Give peace a chance......