Monday, November 30, 2009

"Wings of Eagles" or "Replay of Hitler"

Last night around midnight I'm flipping through the channels (after watching "The Blood Book") checking to see if anything looked interesting before I went to sleep. I generally flip right on through the Christian channels, but last night one channel stopped me dead in my tracks. After watching a really bloody horror movie, I thought for one moment I had been transferred into an episode of the Twilight Zone and this wasn't really reality anymore.

This show or should I say infomercial, was on and here were these "men of the lord" (I use that term loosely) like Jerry Falwell and Pat Boone and a bunch of other Podunk sounding men pushing this program "Wings of Eagles". The program asks for people to hurry and call this number (1-800-434-2003) and donate money to send a Jew back home to Israel. For $350 you can send one Jew home, $700 will send a couple to Israel and at the bargain price of $1400 you can send a whole damn family of Jews back to Israel. I kid you not.

I was instantly glued to this program because I felt like I was listening to some shit Hitler would say, except in such a nice sounding voice laced with religion. These people kept saying "This program is a modern day fulfillment of biblical prophecy, We are reaching out and showing the Jews our love by sending them back to Israel, Get them out of the Soviet Union and other countries before genocide happens." Then a man comes on and says that this year for Christmas instead of giving presents to his kids, the whole family is going to pitch in and send a Jew back home. The clincher was "Hurry and call now before the gates close and no more can be sent home" and "We accept the following credit cards".

I felt like making a phone call to Israel and telling them to turn on channel 4 and close their damn gates now. Of course, you didn't know what these people were really saying, or where they were from, but a sweet (very sweet) man's voice told you what these people were suppose to be saying. Of course all were so thankful to be sent to Israel....or at least that's what "sweet man" told you they said.

Then I took a good look at these people...physically and mentally disabled people and senior citizens that looked like they had one foot on a banana peel, homeless people and god only knows where they were really from. Don't get me wrong, I don't have one thing against physically or mentally disabled people and the senior years are knocking on my door, but sweet Jesus, why in the hell would Israel allow a pilgrimage of people into their country to live, that will drain their financial and medical resources to death? I mean, isn't that damn country something like 30 miles long? And why in the hell are these evangelical preachers in the U.S. trying to send all these handicapped and old, homeless Jews to Israel in the first place? It's not their home.

The whole program to me was pure racism with a fresh coat of pearly lipstick applied, so you hopefully didn't notice the prejudice. It made me think that these are the people in our country crying out for "family values" and trying damn hard to take my freedoms away that people died to achieve. Do these people really know anything about humanitarian values, or what God and Jesus are supposed to be about? I think least not the God I believe in.

This whole show was disgusting and reminded me how easily we can walk back down the path of history. WWII should have taught the whole world a lesson, but it didn't. Of course the people on this show and those who think this is a good thing, would disagree with me, but I will never follow a belief system, or a group of people that so blatantly rejoice in creating fear, stealing money and believing in hatred under the cloak of God. Leave the fricking Jews alone. If they want to go back to Israel, they'll go on their own. Get a clue, if they're born in Sacramento and live in Montana, going to Israel is not "going home". Just because I've got German in me, doesn't mean I should be sent to Bavaria because it's my home. I thought the U.S. loved Israel because we're always kissing it's ass. So why in the hell would we send them a bunch of nonfunctioning members of society and clutter up their small country with needy cases?

The message to me was "Get rid of the Jews once and for all and send them to Israel. Hell, we want you gone so bad, we'll buy you the ticket". As I looked at that cross I kept imagining it twisting and turning quite easily into a swastika. Whoever these people are, they aren't godly and if they are, well, I think I'll just stick with my god. Wherever they're going doesn't seem like it will be filled with a lot of nice people anyway. Not my kind of place.

What I wouldn't give to have Jesus call the number and request a ticket. After all, he was a Jew. I'd love to hear him say "later white boy, you want me gone and out of your life, well say bye, bye. Don't worry about those boils, pustules and locust, it's just a little plague for your godless asses. Just be thankful I didn't turn your asses into a pillar of salt and flavor my margarita with you and then piss you out on the ground".

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Gobble, Gobble Mo Fo

As Thanksgiving approaches it makes me stop for a moment and think about all that I have to be thankful for. The year has been a dramatic one, but still, there is plenty for which I'm quite grateful. I have a pretty damn good life, despite the downs. Even when the downs feel like sewer sludge is flowing in my mouth, there is still much that is good. I have a home that I love (notice home not house), a terrific family and a few really close friends in my life. I'm still able to sit up and take nourishment and most of all, I've still got the ability to laugh, smile, be nice and say please and thank you. I try to treat all people like I myself want to be treated.

Which made me think of others I run across frequently in my daily dealings of life. There seems to be a vast array of people who tend to feel they have somehow earned the right to act and do anything they please. It's an "entitled " attitude that bogs my mind. These people are usually mean, nasty, don't say please or thank you and seem to feel everyone owes them something. It makes me wonder what are these people really thankful for, if anything at all. I can't help but wonder if deep down these people are really lonely and miserable, because with an "entitled" attitude you can't have a true relationship with people, or the world. People only listen because they've been bullied into it.

Everyone has run into these types of people whether in the grocery store, or in their personal lives. It's frustrating when dealing with a person in a public place that displays this selfish stance. Sure, they usually get their way, because everyone just want them to go away. I see them everyday I work at the store. Sad, but it's generally some woman displaying this attitude. Once again, they show me the woman I don't want to grow up to be like. I like people, friends and relationships to well.

I hope that on this Thanksgiving day everyone, even the entitled, try to think of one thing they are truly thankful for. Despite all the bad economics affecting this country and bad politics of past and present, this is still a great country to reside in. I can't think of any other place I'd rather lay my head down at night. Thanksgiving to me isn't about the Pilgrims, because history polluted the true meaning in that story. It is about stopping for a moment and reflecting on life and all that is really good about it. It's about being nice, saying please and most of all saying thank you for all that has been given to you that makes your life a little bit brighter.

Gobble, goggle mo fo's and a happy Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Cockroach In The Car...OMG!

I thought I'd faint when I opened my car door last night and saw a cockroach! I thought about it for the rest of the night, planning my attack. I knew if I didn't get rid of it I'd never use the car ever again. I'd rather be pent up inside of it with a rabid bobcat, than be stuck inside of the death trap with a cockroach running wild and free. Just shoot my fricking brains out now! I'd walk before ever entering the vehicle again.

I lay there thinking about my plan, remembering the bug bombs my daughter had left at my house. They were probably two years old, but I didn't care...they had to work. No matter what I watched on T.V. or article I wrote, the cockroach was there, crawling through the deep recesses of my mind. I wondered if I'd have nightmares about it. If you can't figure it out by now, I absolutely detest cockroaches. I can watch the worse horror and gore movies on T.V. and eat a piece of rare steak, but one minuet cockroach will give me heart palpitations. They scare the shit out of me and I'm convinced they'll eat a person while they are alive. Notice I didn't put a picture of the little darlings on this post?

I grab the fogger cans and read the instruction twelve times to be sure I've got them down pat. I didn't want to miss one step if it meant the creature might live. The warning told me about putting the little fogger in a small space and that it could blow up or catch afire. Hell, I didn't care if my truck cab was small, or even if it blew to kingdom come.....this white butt wasn't sitting in that vehicle again, so it might as well blow the hell up.....right?

The little fogger fogged the car and I began to work outside. After about fifteen minutes I decide to look through the window and see if I could see anything. As if out of a horror movie, the damn roach crawls across the window I'm looking in, with a panicked look on his face. The little bastard was dying and probably putting an old gypsy cockroach curse on me with its last breath. I jumped back from the window, feeling slightly ill and happy at the same time. Though a glass separated us, I still felt as if the roach had touched my skin. Now it was on my mind more than ever.

Five hours later I open up the fogged death car and see the dead bastard laying on my passenger floor, not a tentacle moving. It sickened me but I swept it out with the six foot long broom. Then to my horror in the back floor I saw there was a friend. I'd had several of the creepy flesh eaters in my car! I could have killed myself if one would have decided to be my copilot while I'd been driving. I knew my husband had left my windows open and they'd decided to take up home.

I hurried and retrieved fogger number two. Quickly I opened it up and sat it where the first one was, allowing it to fog the car again. I had to be sure. My imagination had forty cockroaches smashing their bodies into any crack inside of my truck, waiting for me to shift in to fifth gear and then appear for revenge. Hours later I opened up the death tomb again and found nothing. I quickly closed it and figured I'd allow the fog to stay put till tomorrow. I need to be sure before I drive it again.

They say smoking kills, but in this instance it actually might have saved my life. If I hadn't of went to my car last night looking for smokes, I'd never had seen the cockroach and I'd kept driving around not knowing they were there. I could have been driving on the highway when they would have jumped out and attacked me by surprise. I would have either wrecked the car or jumped out of it, letting it crash. Whichever outcome, both would result in a wrecked car and my body being hurt either by flesh eating roaches, or road rash. Smoking saved a life last night and now I'm going to honor my addiction by smoking one in thankful gratitude.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Ochlockonee's Deers and Squirrels - Friends of the Camper

Ochlockonee River State Park, located just outside Sopchoppy, Florida, is a definite gem in the state's park system. If you are a tent camper, sites 18 and 19 are a camper's dream come true. Nestled away in the pine forest and on their own little drive, campers will find these sites quite private and full of surprise visitors that are more than willing to share the campsite with you.

I've been a wildlife enthusiast my whole life and have often come in contact with "wild" animals that act tame. I've got a yard full of gray squirrels who think they are part of the family. They're as bad as my dogs, greeting me at the back door when I come home. I'd like to think they like me, but in truth I know it's because I'm the food wagon.

Night one at Ochlockonee brought Angela, the white-tailed deer into the campsite. She walked in and situated herself around the fire pit as if wanting to join in on the conversation. Smores was on the menu so naturally she was given an offering. To everyone's delight, Angela was quite pleased and gulped down what seemed like a pound of marshmallows. We figured she'd be dead of bloat in the morning. To our surprise, her friend Jessica joined in the fun. A bit more skittish than Angela, Jessica put on a brave face and joined us by the fire to eat marshmallows. Jessica and Angela made our evening complete.

The next day Dot came to visit (she had dots inside her ears) at breakfast. We could tell she was a southern girl and wanted some home cooking. Eventually she brought the others and off an on all day and the rest of stay the deers frequented our campsite. We were hand feeding them, even though we knew we shouldn't, you just couldn't resist. They all acted like pet dogs, greeting us when we came home. The deers ate good, consuming cheese grits, peanuts, crackers, red snapper, salad, sweet potatoes, corn and no camping trip would be complete without hotdogs.

We also had two gray squirrels that lived on opposite sides of the site about eight feet up in each tree. They were the fattest squirrels I'd ever seen in my life, with their bellies almost dragging on the ground. Each squirrel had to weight approximately 4 to 5 pounds. They were the most redneck squirrels you'd ever want to see with the fighting over who was going to get all the food. We named them Billy Bob and Bertha Bob Thornton. They were very friendly, crawling all over one person due to a sudden attraction to them. I'm not sure if the body odor was "Eau de Peanut", but something had those squirrels wanting to get up close and personal. The other little ones who tried to visit the site were quickly beat back by Billy Bob and Bertha Bob. They even tried to control Angela and her friends.

The white squirrels of Ochlockonee are infamous. Kept as pets and let into the wild by drunk partygoers leaving their cage open, they've lived at the park for 50 years. Of course one didn't show up until 15 minutes before we left. Whitie was quite beautiful with his black capped head and stripe down his back. A few years earlier they'd lived at site 18 but were no longer there. I figured Bertha Bob and Billy Bob had run them off. Not too many things could stand up against those too squirrels working together.

The stay reminded me of just how close to nature we could be if we tried. Thank goodness these animals are protected in a forest where hunting is not allowed, or they'd surely die. Their trust of humans is amazing. Whether it be for food, or just wanting to hang out, these deer and squirrels are quite trusting of mankind. It's was well worth the trip just to sit back and have nature calmly come to you. Spending a couple of hours hanging out by the fire drinking beer with a couple of deer, would change even the most hard hearted I'm sure. Looking into those eyes you see a certain innocence not found in the eyes of man.

Ochlockonee's animals I thank you for sharing yourselves with me and giving me an experience I'll remember for a lifetime.