Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Cockroach In The Car...OMG!
I thought I'd faint when I opened my car door last night and saw a cockroach! I thought about it for the rest of the night, planning my attack. I knew if I didn't get rid of it I'd never use the car ever again. I'd rather be pent up inside of it with a rabid bobcat, than be stuck inside of the death trap with a cockroach running wild and free. Just shoot my fricking brains out now! I'd walk before ever entering the vehicle again.
I lay there thinking about my plan, remembering the bug bombs my daughter had left at my house. They were probably two years old, but I didn't care...they had to work. No matter what I watched on T.V. or article I wrote, the cockroach was there, crawling through the deep recesses of my mind. I wondered if I'd have nightmares about it. If you can't figure it out by now, I absolutely detest cockroaches. I can watch the worse horror and gore movies on T.V. and eat a piece of rare steak, but one minuet cockroach will give me heart palpitations. They scare the shit out of me and I'm convinced they'll eat a person while they are alive. Notice I didn't put a picture of the little darlings on this post?
I grab the fogger cans and read the instruction twelve times to be sure I've got them down pat. I didn't want to miss one step if it meant the creature might live. The warning told me about putting the little fogger in a small space and that it could blow up or catch afire. Hell, I didn't care if my truck cab was small, or even if it blew to kingdom come.....this white butt wasn't sitting in that vehicle again, so it might as well blow the hell up.....right?
The little fogger fogged the car and I began to work outside. After about fifteen minutes I decide to look through the window and see if I could see anything. As if out of a horror movie, the damn roach crawls across the window I'm looking in, with a panicked look on his face. The little bastard was dying and probably putting an old gypsy cockroach curse on me with its last breath. I jumped back from the window, feeling slightly ill and happy at the same time. Though a glass separated us, I still felt as if the roach had touched my skin. Now it was on my mind more than ever.
Five hours later I open up the fogged death car and see the dead bastard laying on my passenger floor, not a tentacle moving. It sickened me but I swept it out with the six foot long broom. Then to my horror in the back floor I saw there was a friend. I'd had several of the creepy flesh eaters in my car! I could have killed myself if one would have decided to be my copilot while I'd been driving. I knew my husband had left my windows open and they'd decided to take up home.
I hurried and retrieved fogger number two. Quickly I opened it up and sat it where the first one was, allowing it to fog the car again. I had to be sure. My imagination had forty cockroaches smashing their bodies into any crack inside of my truck, waiting for me to shift in to fifth gear and then appear for revenge. Hours later I opened up the death tomb again and found nothing. I quickly closed it and figured I'd allow the fog to stay put till tomorrow. I need to be sure before I drive it again.
They say smoking kills, but in this instance it actually might have saved my life. If I hadn't of went to my car last night looking for smokes, I'd never had seen the cockroach and I'd kept driving around not knowing they were there. I could have been driving on the highway when they would have jumped out and attacked me by surprise. I would have either wrecked the car or jumped out of it, letting it crash. Whichever outcome, both would result in a wrecked car and my body being hurt either by flesh eating roaches, or road rash. Smoking saved a life last night and now I'm going to honor my addiction by smoking one in thankful gratitude.